REYKYAVIK-CCP announced today due to budget cuts and restructuring they will be forced to lay off approximately 10,000 players from EvE online, the popular online space ship second job.
"This is not a decision we have made lightly, but we feel that it is a necessary next step for the company to move on and grow." Stated CEO Hilmar during a press conference earlier today. "We wish our former players the best of luck, and hope they find new opportunities in other games they can treat like second jobs, mindlessly grinding away at activities that no sane human being could ever find remotely enjoyable."
As a result, many angry players are now out on the cold, and having to actually physically interact with other human beings, with only their actual jobs to sustain them.
"I spent at least 4 hours a day organizing spreadsheets for my shuttle manufacturing business." One of the layed off players stated. "Now what do I do? No other game has managed to be as much of a joyless grind as EvE." This sentiment was repeated by numerous players, from miners operating 10 accounts at once, POS logistics specialists spending hours on mundane and repetitive chores, and especially CEOs of major corporations tired of dealing with all the fucking drama and bullshit. Seriously, not a fucking day goes by when one of you isn't crying because someone said something in chat that hurt your feelings or a blue stole your ratting spot or whatever. Christ, shut the fuck up and grow some fucking balls. It's like dealing with bunch of fucking children.
"Many of these EvE players will be able to transfer their skills at masochistically doing the same thing over and over again into other MMO opportunists." One analyst claimed. One place these players are likely to find second jobs in the is growing Asian MMO market which features numerous 'games' that are not fun in the slightest and feature soul crushingly repetitive grinds. These type of games are frequently referred to as 'free to play' due to the massive cost associated with doing absolutely anything in them.
Some feel it isn't all bad though. "I was planning on retiring from playing EvE online to work full time anyway." Another capsuleer said in regards to being laid off. "I might start doing some WoW raiding on the side too. It's not enough of a tedious grind that it makes you question the purpose of life itself, but it keeps you busy."
CCP has announced the reason for the lay-offs is to free up the resources necessary for next expansion; a 5% increase in fuel bay size for Black Ops Battleships.
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