Wednesday, March 13, 2013

CCP Fozzie's Latest Ship Balance Blog Just A String of Random Profanity.

CCP Fozzie has clearly lost his shit.


REYKJAVIK-CCP Fozzie today released a new post on Ship balance, in which the beleaguered dev spent 7 pages discussing his unabashed hatred for every single player in the game.   "I work my ass off 50+ hours a week for you ungrateful little shits and all I get for it is you bitching on the forums about how much you miserable fucks hate everything."  An on obviously inhebrated CCP Fozzie explained.  "Well guess what?  The Hookbill now has +5% to shield resistance per level, but only 1 mid slot.  How do you like that shit!?  Oh and Rifters?  They now have 857,402 powergrid and 2 CPU.  Deal with it, fuckers.  I AM YOUR GOD!"

Fozzie then broke a bottle over his desk and started brandishing it at any co-worker who got too close.

Players on Sisi have noted a few undocumented changes as well.  For example, shuttles now all have  15,946,875,000kg mass (about seven times that of an Avatar Titan) with an alignment time of 11 hours.


Players are divided on the new ship balance.  While no one feels the changes are good, most breathed a sigh of relief. 

"I mean, it's not good, but this is CCP we are talking about."  Said one Capsuleer.  "If even half the ships in the universe survive a rebalance pass I call that a win."   Others offered a different opinion.  "This is the second worst expansion since Incarna."  One Capsuleer stated.  "I mean, the changes are completely non-sensical and done at the whim of a drunken madman.  Don't get me wrong, though, it's no where near as bad as Incarna... but it's bad.  I mean, my Dominix now has a 35 million km3 drone bay but only 5
Mbit/sec bandwidth so I can only launch 1 light drone at a time.  What the hell?"

Among other changes CCP Fozzie has announced is Merlins now have 248 billion shield points, Rookie ships can now bridge and jump to cynos, and Black Ops have been given a 5% bigger fuel bay.

Act of Kindness, Decency Occurs Within Eve Online

Random Act of Kindness, Decency occurs in EvE online.

JITA-CCP announced today that at 01:45 EvE time, for the first time in the history of the game, a random act of kindness and decency occurred in EvE online. 

A young capsuleer "YungLikeYorse" recently accepted a courier contract to move goods to Jita from 6 jumps out.  The contract had a collateral set of 100 million isk, but upon opening the container Yung discovered that the contents was actually worth just under a billion isk.   Rather than simply breaching the contact and selling the freight for a profit, Yung completed the contract then sent an EvEmail to the issuer reminding them to always double check the collateral amount on contracts before issuing them.

The player base has reacted to this announcement with a mix of shock, denial, outrage and disgust.

"It's just sickening that someone would decide to show decency to another human being." one area pirate commented while sitting on a gate with a full rack of smart bombs and 2 warp core stabilizers.  "That's not what EvE is about.  That's not what we stand for."

Others have responded with denial, posing scenarios such as Yung trying to earn the trust of the capsuleer to infiltrate his corporation in order to steal even more assets.  These hopes were quickly dashed when it was revealed that Yung is already in a small corporation of friends who simply play the game to enjoy it.  

"It's bad enough that he was displaying the ability to feel empathy for another human being, but playing EvE for FUN!? That's just sick." Stated one miner who took the time out of running 17 accounts to make a statement before returning to the game that had become a second full time job for him.

CCP has vowed a full examination into the incident and how it could have occurred and why.  Some capsuleers have demanded CCP remove the isk from the contract issuer and return it to Yung.  CCP has responded by stating that while they do not condone Yung's actions, they believe to interfere in them would destroy the aspect of freedom that exists in EvE. 

"We created EvE to be a sandbox in which people of all different races and creeds could come together to be complete dicks to each other."  A CCP Spokesperson stated in response to the incident.  "While we all find Yung's actions deplorable, it's important to remember that the same freedom that allows him to act like a decent human being also allows total douchebags to scam, exploit, and grief each other endlessly.  While we all find the idea of Good troubling, remember that without it, there can be no true Evil."

Many players are simply seeing this as a sign of the times.  "It used to be everyone was completely insensitive assholes.  Now-a-days people actually treat each other with respect and don't seek to crush them under heel just because they can."  One capsuleer stated while sitting docked waiting out his criminal flag for suicide ganking a hulk in high-sec for no fucking reason.  "If I can't pay 15 dollars a month to be a petty bully because I'm desperate to feel superior to others I'm not exactly sure what I'd do."

Later he added: "FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGSFAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGSFAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGSFAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGS FAGSfgsgsfgsfgsg."